The Szechuan Sauce

Alright everyone, it’s time to get schwifty, so pull down your pants and-

Okay, no. I’m not finishing that reference. Rick and Morty really isn’t the highbrow, adult comedy that its fans would like you to think and that level of toilet humour is just gross. Even for a chilli reviewer, like myself, who inevitably has to hear a tonne of it.

But, the show’s supposed intelligence aside, there is something else that it’s known for. Which is the absolute ridiculousness of the szechuan sauce debacle, caused by the start of its third season. The raids on McDonald’s stores, across the US, all in search of a long-discontinued tie-in to the original Mulan film.

Frankly, I’ve no idea why people cared so much about a simple szechuan sauce – Especially one with such an uninspired list of ingredients – but that absurd uproar did have some interesting knock-on effects. Including inspiring a whole host of more authentic chinese flavours in the american hot sauce market. As well as a few further afield and even one or two here, in the UK.

Today, I want to look at one example, in particular, which comes to us from Balefire, in durham:

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Dew-Over

Welcome back, everyone! This week, I’d like to return to one of our old favourite suppliers, the Chilli Alchemist. Because they, in turn, have returned one of my old favourite items – The 💀Philosopher’s Dew!

Now known simply as their “Dew” and focussing rather more heavily on its citrus content, so I’m eager to see just how much it’s changed. But, same sauce or not, it won’t be alone in today’s review.

Russell, the current company owner, has added another new product to the range, alongside it. And this one appears to be all his own:

A “Gold” sauce which, rather than taking after the old 💀Aurum, promises to be a fruity, pineapple sriracha. Much like the redone Dorset Punch.

Let’s take a closer look at the pair, shall we?

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Fixin’ it Up

Hello again everyone and happy white day! I know I’m technically a day late for japan’s most chocolate-themed holiday but that’s just how my schedule panned out. And don’t worry, I’ve got the goods:

Boom Sauce’s Fix Up D’Heat chocolate and the trinidadian-style hot sauce from which it gets its name. Based on an old family recipe.

Today, I’m going to start with that sauce, so that I really know what I’m looking for when I taste it in the chocolate. So it only makes sense to take a closer look at its bottle:

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Strawberry Sriracha?

Happy tuesday again, everyone. Today, there’s one last little freebie that I have to feature, before the year is out. So go ahead and take a look at this crazy concoction, sent to me by Alkemio Kitchen:

Its labelling may look the same as all of the company’s others but this brown sauce is their Strawberry, Roasted Pepper + Tamarind Sriracha. Which is a highly peculiar, yet enticing, jumble of words. Especially given how much I enjoyed the blend of savoury red peppers and sweet strawberry in The FBI’s Ball Breaker.

Have I saved the best for last? Not intentionally but perhaps I have.

Let’s take a closer look.

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Blue Fire Rice

Hey folks, it’s the weekend, oncemore, and I’ve got another recipe for you. Not a seasonal one, however, but a third one from my buddy, PixelTea.

Another Gourmet Smash Ultimate recipe, this time, but one that I’ve tweaked slightly, using suggestions from his Discord server.

Based on Pixel’s Pokemon Trainer recipe – Specifically his beef-filled Charizard version – this “jelly filled doughnut” has a rather different core. One amped up with blueberry and ghost pepper, in order to reflect the pokemon’s X evolution. And, despite my rice ball not being christmas themed in any way, it did wind up featuring a surprisingly seasonal assortment of spices.

Yet, topical or not, I love the way that this recipe turned out. So full of rich, savoury, meaty goodness, tinged with berries, spices and a high, yet pleasant heat. All kept in check by its soft, fluffy, rice ball exterior.

But we’ll get into its flavour properly in a bit. First, let’s look at how to cook it.

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‘Tis the Season to Eat Jelly

Hey there everyone, this week we have something very out of character for the current year: A festival find. But don’t worry, I’ve not been getting out and about and putting my family or my reviewing ability at risk. I’ve simply been saving today’s feature since back in january.

This is Briscoe’s Jellyment #2

Also known as their Tempting Thai Jelly. A yorkshire-made preserve which, like Farraday’s Surinamese Piccalilli before it, is rapidly approaching its best before and thus needs to be showcased sooner, rather than later.

Yet, while that’s why I’m bringing it to you now, it’s not why I have it in the first place. I picked up this particular product because I found it, and the other sweet spreads that Briscoe’s were selling, quite fascinating.

After all, thai sweet chilli might normally resemble a jam or jelly but this is the first time that I’ve seen someone actually try and turn it into one. Let alone give it an apple base.

This product is unique and I’m really hoping that it works as well as the heatless vanilla, cinnamon and thyme flavours which I tried off record.

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Surinamese Piccalilli

Hey folks, I don’t know about you but, for me, time seems to be moving abnormally fast in our new, pandemic-stricken world. I mean, it’s already september, for crying out loud!

So, with that being the case, there’s a little something that I have to show you today. A somewhat different product from a previously featured producer that I’ve been keeping in reserve but is now fast approaching its best before date:

FarradaySuriname

This is the Surinamese from Farraday’s Tasty – A product which they claim, on their website, is a traditional surinamese-style pickle, yet describe, on the jar, as a spiced up piccalilli. Seemingly quite the contradiction, given that piccalilli is another example of british bangladeshi cuisine.

In actuality, though, it would appear that piccalilli found its way over there, somehow, and has become a major ingredient in the country’s traditional cooking. Albeit adulterated slightly, in order to fit the locals’ tastes.

Let’s see what’s changed, shall we?

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Cool’s Hot Chocolate

Alright, everyone, I just found out that it was world chocolate day on tuesday and I missed it. For some reason, my calendar showed only the rival holiday, international chocolate day, all the way over in october.

So, in order to make up for that, I’m going to bring you a simple sunday recipe, using Daddy Cool’s caramelised bar to make a drink that does anything but live up to his name. A ghost pepper and caramel white hot chocolate:

CoolHotChoc

Plus, I do also have another chocolate review coming up but that’ll have to wait just a little longer.

The weekend is for cooking.

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Pink Pepper Brownies

Hey folks, it’s sunday and you all know what that means. It’s recipe time again.

Given everything that’s been going on this month, though, I wanted to keep my april recipe simple and use only items that I had on hand. Since, you know, going out for ingredients more than you need to is a bit irresponsible right now.

So, with that in mind, I thought I’d revisit the idea of brownies and spice them up in a whole new way. One that’s a bit more about the spices and a little less about the infusion of superhots.

PeppercornBrownie

I have, after all, been wanting to play with pink peppercorns for quite some time.

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Thunderstruck!

Welcome back, everyone. It’s review time again and, so far, I feel like we’ve seen a lot of fruit-based products this year.

Well, today’s sauce does promise peach and blueberry undertones but those are far from its main focus. As you can tell from its bottle:

ThunderJuiceBottle

This is Thunder Juice. A brown chilli product from the makers of Rogue – My personal favourite from the Hot Ones line-up.

It’s High River Sauces’ tequila-infused sauce but its true selling point is that mind-blowing, eye-widening, skull-scorching nuclear mushroom cloud of heat that we see in its art. A truly extreme visual representation that the product may actually live up to, considering its primary pepper.

Because, while it does look to contain a fair amount of the current world record holder, this isn’t a reaper sauce. It’s a chocolate bhutlah one – Which might just make it even hotter.

And, even if it doesn’t, the bhutlah also brings a blend of rich, earthy and cocoa-like flavours that I absolutely adore. I have no idea how it’ll pair with peach, blueberries and tequila but I look forward to finding out, while I put the firepower of this potential future record to the test.

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