Honest Chutney

Hey there everybody. Last week, we looked at what was supposed to be a smoky mango sauce and, while it was pretty tasty, it most certainly wasn’t what it said on the label. So, in order to get our fix of the fruit and celebrate national curry week correctly, I’m going to spend today’s post looking at a pair of chutneys:

MChutneys

A pair that promise the same product type, yet take it in completely different directions, with completely different chillies.

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The Mad Titan’s Molé

Hey folks, do you recognise this fruit?

HornedMelon

If you’re a Marvel fan, you should, ’cause this is the only thing growing in Thanos’ garden. And, while it doesn’t come from an alien cactus, the inside of the real kiwano looks more extraterrestrial than anything in Endgame:

HornedInnards

It’s a freaky-looking fruit and its taste is just as weird – A blend of cantaloupe, cucumber and lime – but it’s right at home with herbs and citrus. It’s more vegetable than fruit but a friend to fresh flavours all the same.

In today’s celebration of superhero movies and obscure, african fruit, I’m not going to be replicating the mad titan’s horned melon soup. That dish is as much of an affront to the world as his use of the infinity stones. A thick, snotty, disgusting mess of a meal, about which horror stories have trickled down through my family for generations.

You do not cook the kiwano.

This fruit or vegetable, whichever you choose to call it, is best served fresh or frozen. It’s typically recommended for use in mousses, smoothies, sorbets and citrus-heavy cocktails but, for today’s recipe, I’m going guac.

Mexico’s famous, creamy dip/condiment hybrid that brings together all things fresh and green.

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Khoo’s Hot Syrup

Happy tuesday, folks. Today’s a bit of a special one.

Why? Because it’s shrove tuesday. The start of lent, now all but stripped of its religious significance and transformed into my favourite food-based holiday: Pancake Day.

A day for the appreciation of round, flat, pan-fried breads from all across the globe. Be they ultra thin and lightly crispy like a french crêpe or thick, puffy and well-risen like a japanese hot cake. Smothered in sweetness, as per american tradition, or served up savoury like the potato variety.

And hey, I may not consider the common gluten free alternative, the banana pancake, a true member of the pancake race but it is, quite clearly, pancake-inspired and utterly delicious. If you want to spend your pancake day with those, I’m definitely not going to fault you for it.

Me, though? I was brought up on blueberry ones – Good, thick, american-style pancakes, chock full of my dad’s favourite berries. And, if you don’t count peppers, quite possibly mine as well.

The sweet yet tart bursts of randomly distributed fruit added an extra level of enjoyment to my childhood breakfasts and I still love those pancakes to this day. Despite their mess.

It should, therefore, come as no surprise that I first tried today’s product – A chilli golden syrup – in that manner.

khoocakes

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Appledrop Tart

Hey folks, today it’s tart time.

For this month’s recipe, or perhaps its bonus recipe, if you consider my mousse cake the main one, I wanted to make a spicy apple tart with a touch of my old favourite lemondrop powder. A similar combination to some of the flavours in my fruit risotto from way back but without its pear or morrocan spices, giving a very different end result.

Unfortunately, though, this one didn’t work out as planned.

I did my research, found out the science behind the perfect apple pasty and quickly realised that I didn’t have the tools to make it. I could only make a tasty second best that will, I’m afraid, have to suffice for the time being.

But I will still explain how and why, with a more professional kitchen than mine, you could go that extra mile towards perfection.

Either way, though, the ingredients are the same and they end result it highly enjoyable.

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A Salty Showdown

Happy tuesday again, folks. Today, it’s time for some seasoning.

Chilli salts, instead of sauces, this week and both from companies that we know well.

salts

The Mini Jar Company on the left, makers of salsa, chutney and a great, fiery peanut butter, making their return with an aji lemon (or lemondrop) sea salt.

And, on the right, Wiltshire Chilli Farm, sporting the same brown action lines that we saw on their Dark Habanero sauce for a chipotle salt. A product that promises to be a massive step down in heat from both that and 🔥 the last two items that I had from them 🔥.

Two rather different product flavours – One bright and citrusy and the other rich and smoky – but a single product type all the same.

Let’s see what I make of them.

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Kitchen Alchemy

Hey there heat eaters, today I feel like baking something simple with Grim Reaper Foods’ Alchemy. And what could could be simpler than a microwave mug cake? A subtler take on a ginger steamed pudding, topped with that wonderful, sweet, lemondrop and cognac sauce.

Plus, not only is it simple but it also takes under ten minutes.

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A Day on the Farm

It’s thursday again, folks, and this time my post’s a big one.

You see, all the way back in october, I got in touch with a company called “Edible Ornamentals”, who you might know from my reviews of the “Nutty Professor” Peanut Butter or their tea infused “Nagalicious” marmalade.

welcome-edible-ornamentals_1_orig

Me, though, I didn’t. Back then, those two were still in the post, ordered as my way of checking out the company.

All I actually knew about Edible Ornamentals at the time was that they grew the peppers for some of my favourite producers. And, as it turns out, for the Screaming Chimp.

As growers, though, their main business stops for the winter months and their growing season was already coming to a close by the time that I spoke to them. There was little point in me making this post when it was fresh in my mind.

Now, however, the pepper plants are in bloom and we can finally take a look at how I came to know the company properly. A journey that all started with their “Pod Packs”.

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Not So Thai

Hey folks, it feels like I’m doing this almost every month now but here’s another two product review. A comparison, so much as there can be one, between two very different takes on a thai-style sauce.

One is a long awaited item from Devon Chilli Man, seen on my twitter midway through last year, and the other is one of the many I got from Grim Reaper Foods. Yet, despite being based on a thai sweet chilli, it’s not the last of the freebies from their thai-themed box.

No, that’ll have to wait just a little longer because Devon Chilli Man is the one with a green jalapeño sauce today. A green thai sweet chilli that he calls the Jalapeño Creaper, not because he can’t spell but because it also contains carolina reaper.

While the Grim Reaper shows us his Alchemy, another highly unusual sweet chilli sauce made using the lemon drop or aji limon chilli. A citrusy pepper that turns the sauce to gold, just like the alchemist’s dream.

Both are going to be at least a little stronger than your average thai sweet sauce but their unorthodox chilli choices also bring a unique flavour and appearance to the table.

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Pronouncing Peppers

Greetings everyone, it’s time for another thursday post. But not another sauce review.

Unlike the last two thursdays, this post isn’t about a product but it is inspired by one: The Dorset Chilli Shop’s chipotle extract. Because that one little bottle changed the way I talk.

It came labelled with the ancient aztec name of it’s chilli, “Chilpōctli”, which turned out not to be pronounced the way I thought.

So today we’re looking at pronunciation. At how to say the names of your favourite chillies and why they’re pronounced the way they are.

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Screaming Mango

Hey guys, it’s time for the final one of my Screaming Chimp sample sauces, their Mango & Papaya.

2017-03-11 11.06.44

And, just like last month’s, this one forgoes the brand’s main simmered tomato base in favour of a 42% mango content, supported by papaya and pineapple for an equally strong but much smoother fruitiness.

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