Pineapples and Pain

It’s monday, dear readers, and, while it might not be my usual blogging day, it is, in fact, my birthday. The day where I turn a year older and I mark the occasion with something stupidly hot. An extract-based sauce or two to make me suffer for your entertainment, as well as the entertainment of those who craft such fearsome concoctions.

As I mentioned, last week, this year’s post is dedicated to Dan Reed and his company, Chilli of the Valley. A company who kindly supplied me with one of their hottest natural products as an appetiser.

Yet I kind of suspect that that’s all that Dan meant for his Black Death to be. Because it may have been hot and tasty but it sure didn’t pack the unnatural punch of a sauce like this:

PhwoarBottle

His Phwoar Koff and Dai.

Not that it’s actually meant to be read as “Phwoar Koff and Dai” but, well, I do try to keep things family friendly on my front page. And I’m sure that we’ll all understand what it really means once we’ve tried it.

Continue reading

Hot & Bothered

It’s my birthday again! Today, I turn twenty-seven and, like every other year, I rate some extract sauces. Ultra-hot chilli products that surpass the natural limits of my scale by using a chemical concentrate of chilli’s capsaicin.

So, while I would normally bring you a recipe post on a weekend, like this, I’m putting my cooking on hold for a bonus review of my annual suffering.

Yet I have something a little different for you, this year. A sauce that comes not from an artisan chilli company but from the garlic specialists of the Isle of Wight:

BotherBottle

The Garlic Farm’s fang melting “Vampire Botherer” – To my knowledge, the only ever craft sauce to blend green chilli and chilli extract.

It’s not going to be as insane as today’s other item, given that a mere tenth of a percent of it is actually capsaicin concentrate, but I feel like its uniqueness is worth addressing, before I dive head first into the real deep end of the Five Finger Death Punch.

FFDPSauce

Continue reading

Mexican Moose Cake

So, spice lovers, today it’s time for another recipe. Or, well, strictly speaking, it isn’t. My recipe of the month typically goes up on the last weekend and there’s still one more to go this january. But hey, I’m sure that none of you will mind getting something a week early.

Today, I intend to show you a birthday cake. One carefully crafted to please an online friend, who I met up with in person for the first time yesterday. And I would have kept that cake between the two of us, if it weren’t for one minor detail: This friend requested chilli.

Why? I’m not sure. I think, perhaps, that they just assumed that it would feature in anything I made but, whatever the reason, I decided to play it safe. I knew nothing of her spice tolerance and she wasn’t the member of the group who was super into hot stuff.

In fact, I knew very little of her food tastes in general. All I had to go on was that she liked things rich and jokingly identified as a moose but, fortunately, that was enough for me to have an idea.

I would make a chocolate mousse cake, at least partially for the bad pun, using some of the mildest, richest peppers that I knew of – The mexican ancho and pasilla. And I’ll show you how I did it, right after that “Continue reading” button. Continue reading

Dying in Style

Well, it’s my birthday again but it might not be a happy one. Not when you’ve chosen what was probably the hottest and definitely the most expensive option on my poll.

This year’s extract sauce tasting is unlikely to be as brutal as 🔥 my first year’s 🔥 but I’m sure that it’ll at least give last year a run for its money. And it is, once again, two sauces.

Two sauces that I can’t show you until after the “Continue reading” button because one of them uses the F-word.

Continue reading

Murder Me!

Hey guys, it’s coming to the end of may and my birthday’s just under a month away.

You know what that means. It means extract sauce! Sauce that’ll melt my face off with a single cocktail stick.

There’s only one problem. I haven’t been sent any to review lately.

So, this year, I have to pick my own poison and I just can’t do it. So, to make things both easier and more fun, I’m going to let you guys have a bit of a say.

I’m going to let you pick from three company’s unnaturally hot concoctions – Ones that I’ve been eyeing up throughout the year – and choose the one that kills me. All you have to do is read the rest of this post and vote in the poll at the end.

Assuming, of course, that you’re ok with strong language.

Continue reading